Just Parents in Life

Journey through our trials and triumphs of raising a transgender child and his two sisters.

Month: November, 2016

Sticks and Stones

This…this right here, explains it all. Please stop with the hateful comments and just think for a moment, put yourself in our shoes for a moment and remember this :: We would rather have a transgender SON than a dead daughter. I will leave you with that profound thought as you read through this trans momma’s response to all the haters out there.

♥︎ Just Parents

Growing Up Transgender

Another week, another article on transgender children and their “crazy” / “abusive”/ “attention seeking” parents. Even when articles are not actively offensive and transphobic (as so very many are), they retain a heavy tone of scepticism and judgement. And then I get down to the comments section…

I know I shouldn’t look. I know there’s nothing there I want to see. I know I will leave in tears. But somehow, I can’t help myself. Partly, I want to learn what views are being shared, to try to understand what people are saying and, once I start, I’m so horrified, I’m unable to look away. A bigger driver though, is the knowledge that in a few years’ time my child will be the one on the internet. She won’t be able to look away, and I won’t be able to protect her. And the hurt I feel now will be nothing…

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Hormone Blocker Day

The day finally arrived. 11.15.16. The day we have been anxiously awaiting.

We woke up yesterday morning at 4:45am and were out the door by 5:15 am to head to Childrens Hospital Los Angeles with our son. It was *hormone blocker* day! We have waited for many months and have jumped through many hoops to get to this day and it was finally here.

We arrived at CHLA at 7:30am and had time to waste before we checked in at 8am, so we grabbed some Starbucks and walked the gardens that are already decorated for Christmas. It was a quiet walk as our son was starting to get nervous. We just enjoyed the scenery and tranquility of the gardens.

At 8am, we headed upstairs to the outpatient surgery clinic and waited about 15 minutes before our nurse called us back. She was very nice and took the time to explain to us what was going to happen, leaving out the details that would make our son nervous, as he asked to not hear about them. We got to see the implant and feel what it is like in a simulated arm piece. I (mom) had to sign some paperwork and she asked me to step out of the room with her to do so. She explained that she needed to be sure I understood what was happening and that part of the procedure was to ask if we needed a pregnancy test. 😳 She advised, its standard procedure to ask, as if he would or could possibly be, this implant would cause serious complications,  and if I decline, I need to sign a waiver stating so. I happily signed the decline. She then asked if I wanted to know what the steps were to the procedure, since our son didn’t want to. She explained what would happen and then we went back to the room.

She applied some numbing cream on the inside of his non dominant, upper arm and told us she would be back in twenty minutes. Right on time, she said she would go get the doctor. He came in and was so warm and inviting, told us we could call him by his first name and sat down next to our son to explain the procedure and ask if we had any questions. He told us that his partner and him do about 100 of these a year and that there is literally no side effects that we should be worried about. We then followed him down the hall to the sterile surgery room and began the process.

The doctor wiped away the numbing cream and applied some spray that would freeze the area. Once that was finished, he applied lidocaine all around the site. This was the part that they said would be the most painful as you would feel a burning sensation inside your arm. He felt nothing and so we proceeded along. The Doctor made a very small incision, used a long skinny tool to insert into the arm and injected the implant. It took less than a couple minutes to do all this. He stitched it up with two dissolvable stitches, taped it up, bandaged it and then put a wrap around the arm. He said the wrap was to get some extra sympathy for the remainder of the day. 😂 Our son never shed a tear, said he didn’t feel anything and was more brave than I could have ever hoped for, considering he is afraid of needles.

Just like that, we said our goodbyes and were done. We headed out the hospital doors and set off to eat some breakfast. When we hopped in the car, our son told us how much he loves us and that made my heart happy. I could tell he was happy and in that moment, all those months of fighting for this procedure seemed like nothing.

By the end of the day, his arm started to bruise up and today, it is very sore. But, he told me today while we were driving that he is so happy that he is on the road to being his true self and that he can’t believe its all happening so fast. I asked if he was ok with how fast things are moving and if he is 100% sure of all that we are doing and he replied “I have never been happier in all my life and have never felt more right than I do now.”

♥︎Just Parents

 

We did it!

We did it! We got a surgery date for our son to get his hormone blockers! I don’t even want to go into all the obstacles we had to overcome to get here, I just want to relish in the moment of accomplishing this monumental task for our son. I feel elated, relieved and overwhelmed.

The surgeon is booked out to January. When I heard this last Friday, tears welled up in my eyes and my mind raced through a thousand things that could happen between now and January.  His surgery scheduler was so amazing and she said the doctor knows how hard this is to get approved and how long the process can be and that he does all he can to help accommodate his patients that had to fight for the procedure. She told me that she will speak to the doctor about our specific case and get back to me. She called yesterday afternoon and said ‘Can you be here next Tuesday at 8am?” The fact that this doctor is willing to squeeze my son in within a week makes me want to give him the biggest bear hug ever, when we meet him next week!

So, to recap, we got our referral approved and appointment scheduled back on May 1oth. The first available date the doctor had was July 22nd. We spent the next 10 weeks fighting our medical group and insurance provider. We spent the next 4 weeks fighting with the pharmacy and our medical group about the prescription and where it was going to be filled at. Then finally, it took 4 additional days to get the appointment scheduled at the surgery center. It has been one hell of a fight, but I would do it all over again for any one of my children.

Thank you to my husband who had to endure all my emotionally charged phone calls, some which bordered on mental breakdowns, thank you to my best friend for always having the right words of encouragement, thank you to all our family and friends that checked in on us and kept us in positive thoughts and to those who prayed for us. Thank you to my blog followers that offered words of encouragement and support along the way. Most importantly, thank you to our son, who throughout it all, kept calm. He told me yesterday that the reason why he wasn’t worried is because he knew it would happen. I am going to take that as he knows he has a momma bear that never backs down, never gives up and will always fight, so long as I am living, for what is right, what is fair and for what my children need/deserve.

♥︎ Just Parents