It has been awhile since I have updated on here and I was thinking about why I hadn’t the desire to post anything. It seems when things are not going well, I need an outlet to vent and this blog had become my venting platform. But, when things are going well, I find myself not feeling the need to blog. So, it got me thinking…Since the hormone blocker fight was my biggest venting session that got handled, I haven’t felt the need to update. But, there have been some pretty rad things happening in our sons life, so this post will be the highlights of the “good” in our life over the last few months.
At the first of November, my son and I met another transgender boy and his mom. Our sons are the same age and same grade. We live about 50 minutes from each other, so we met half way to have lunch. The boys instantly hit it off and us moms enjoyed each others company. It was so nice to see the kiddos, after their shyness wore off, start to open up with each other and feel so comfortable. They were laughing and goofing off and thoroughly enjoying themselves, so much so, that our lunch turned into a trip to the park so that they could continue hanging out. Meanwhile, I found that I was gaining a new friend as well. It was the first time in our journey that I felt that someone else really related to me and I to her. We were able to ask each other questions that you can’t really ask another parent that doesn’t have a transgender child. We were able to share stories that were eerily similar and we were able to discuss the future with the same uncertainty, fear, and hope and relate to each others feelings. It was a great day for all four of us!
Over Thanksgiving break, our son was invited over for a playdate with his old friend since kindergarten. This young lady and her parents have been so wonderfully open and accepting of learning that the little girl they once had over for many playdates, was now a boy, with a new name. They have embraced him and us with open arms and for that, I am so thankful. When the momma called to arrange a playdate, (the first playdate offer from anyone since we announced we now have a son) I wanted to cry happy tears. The kids spent the day hanging out at their home for the day with her older sister and friend and then went to the movies that evening. They had such a great time together and I enjoyed seeing this girl continue to love my child as if nothing had ever changed between them. I have no doubt that these two will be lifelong friends.
She has been such a supporter of our son since their playdate. She went back to her school, where our son used to attend, and started advocating for him. She was correcting names and pronouns and telling everyone how she wished he would come back to school. And guess what?!?! The other kids are starting to soften their hearts to him. These two started talking on the phone more often and she really helped build our sons confidence up. He started showing up on campus in the mornings, here and there, when I was dropping off our youngest, and the kids that greeted our son would get bigger and bigger each week. So much so, that eventually, his best buddy from last year that wrote him off the day he showed up to school looking 100% boy, reached out and APOLOGIZED for being a jerk and that he wanted to be friends again. They spoke on the phone for quite a long time and are now on friendly terms.
Last month, we had our first sleepover our son has been invited to in many years with his new friend we recently met. I was nervous to let him go, but could sense the excitement in his voice, so we packed his bag and off he went. He had a blast and the family said he fit right in. It was so nice to know he is making friends that are just like him.
All this support has our son thinking about reintegrating back into school with his friends. He really misses the socialization aspect that regular school provides and the fact that he is getting support from friends to come back, had me arrange a meeting with the Principal of the middle school he should be attending next year. The meeting went amazingly well. She was so supportive and reassuring that he will be fine at her school and she stated that she has several gender non conforming students and has not had an issue with anything thus far. She said she is willing to accommodate whatever makes our son feel comfortable. We discussed bathroom usage and locker room concerns and she had answers for it all that were acceptable to us. The best part was when she said if other parents have an issue with your son attending our school, then that parent can figure out what they wish to do with their child because your son is welcomed here. She invited us to come in the Spring and attend the sixth grade orientation they do for the surrounding schools. Our son is so excited about the idea of getting back to school with his friends and for hopefully making new ones too.
The last two months have been pretty amazing for our kiddo. Things are starting to fall into place and life is starting to feel somewhat normal or as normal as life can be with three busy kids. Thank you for following our journey and not only sharing in this mommas frustrations, but also in celebrating our good times!
♥︎ Just Parents