It was worth the drive…
This past Sunday, my hubby, myself and our son went to our first transgender family support group hosted by some affiliates of the Hospital that will be treating our son through his transition. The hospital, with no traffic, is an hour and a half away and on a Sunday afternoon, can be a bit of a mess to get to. We have been planning to go for several weeks because there is a group for us parents and a group for our tween to find support. This was going to be his first experience with meeting others just like him. He was so excited and counting down the days.
When we woke up Sunday morning, we woke up to the devastation that happened to our LGBTQ family in Orlando. I (mom) found myself a sobbing mess most of the morning. I cried into my husbands shoulders about how heartbroken I was and how scared I was. How that could have been my brother and brother in law, how that could have been my brothers friends, that have become our friends over the years, that it could be our son one day. It was just too much for me. I really felt broken. I reached out to my brother to tell him how much I love him and how sad I was. We texted back and forth for a little bit and then, we saw the news about the man arrested in Los Angeles earlier that morning and I started crying again, this time feeling really defeated. How could there be so much hate in this world?!?! Why?!?! What is wrong with people?!?! We were heading to LA in just a few hours and my hubby said we shouldn’t go, so, of course, I cried some more. But, then I said, we have to. We can’t live in fear, we are not going to be super close to the Pride Festivities, so we have to go. I am so glad we did.
When we walked into the support group meeting, we were immediately overwhelmed with how many families were there! My first thought was that there is this huge underground transgender community that nobody knows about. Now, I know that is an exaggeration, but it made me giggle and feel a little better. It made us feel good, less alone and proud that so many families were here for the same thing, to give support to their child and get support for themselves. We knew we were going to be ok, that these people were so welcoming and that it was worth the long drive.
When the meeting was over, we couldn’t wait to find our son and see how his group went. I (mom) was overwhelmed with how many people were in the hallway, when we exited our meeting room, and my eyes started frantically skimming over everyone looking for my baby. Then, we found him. Smiling and laughing. Talking to two other boys. My heart swelled. He said goodbye to his new friends and we headed out. The whole ride home was wonderful. He shared a lot of what they talked about, the other kids names and ages, where they are at in their transition as it relates to his, what he learned, what he shared, etc etc. He just kept smiling and then, he said something that was music to our ears. “Im just so happy. I can’t stop smiling.” My heart melted. It was amazing to hear your child, who has struggled for years to feel like he fits in, feel like he’s fitting in.
I asked my husband what his thoughts were on the meeting, what he liked or didn’t like about it, what he took away from the meeting, and he said he felt that we didn’t have it as bad as many of the other families that shared their stories. That made me feel good. Every single day is something new. Some days are good. Some days are a struggle, but after hearing so many other families stories, we were able to see that we are truly blessed with some amazing family and friends who have rallied around us and offered nothing but love and support. We will be going back. For our son, for us. It was worth the drive…
❤︎ Just Parents